It struck me very funny today to think that I suddenly have this tremendous feeling of security knowing that I will be graduating from college in 2 years, about $20,000 in debt, with a liberal arts degree. I guess it says a lot about the course of my life that this is probably the safest choice I've ever made.
I feel secure knowing that I will not have to think a whole lot about where the money is coming from for a while, but there's also a bit of the traditional something-to-fall-back-on feeling mixed in there, because I find myself thinking that, with a degree, I can always teach to make a living.
I think in the past most of my resistance to finishing a degree came from a fear that I would relent, that I would give up my art and take a teaching job if I could. If it got too hard. Because I knew I would be good at teaching, and because I like school. And because it would be easier. Maybe now, after 25 years of not giving myself anything to fall back on, I have more confidence. I know that, even if I end up teaching, I'll still be an artist.
So I'm ready to introduce the possibility of security. But a liberal arts degree is a pretty flimsy security. Then again, is there any security that's not flimsy? (The answer to that question is "no," by the way.)