I was on my way from Spanish class to the gym this morning when it started raining and I slipped on the wet pavement and bloodied my knee. A minute later I was folding up my umbrella inside the gym and I sliced my finger on some sharp part of the umbrella. (I asked for a Bandaid at the front desk, and I had to fill out an injury report. "Cut finger on umbrella.") Now I'm home and even though I got soaked from the knees down waiting in the driving rain at my shelterless bus stop, it's cool and dark outside, I just made a cup of strong tea with milk and sugar, and I feel cozy and content.
What else? It's possible -- not possible like I would ever do it but possible in the sense that so many things are possible but never happen -- that I could have a whopping midlife crisis, fall in love with a man half my age, drop everything, and follow him to California. Well, maybe it's not possible because I think I already had my midlife crisis 8 years ago. Are midlife crises like chicken pox, you only get them once?
One more thing: I'm a little -- actually more than a little, now -- concerned about this thing that's been happening to me in my sleep. I wake up suddenly, usually very soon after I've gone to sleep, gasping for air. It happens and is over so quickly that I haven't been able to put my finger on just what it is or what it feels like, except that for a moment I feel like I'm suffocating, I take a deep breath, and then I'm fine. Freaked out, but fine.
But last night it was more intense. When I woke up it took a moment before I could start breathing again. Not more than a few seconds, but long enough for it to register that, more than before, it felt like my throat was closed or maybe it's more accurate to say that it felt like the muscles I use to take in air were not responding. Whatever it was it was much scarier this time and must have been noisier because J came running into my room. When I tried to go back to sleep, each time I would drift off a bit I felt like I couldn't breath and that sensation would wake me back up.