I Made a List.

It's true, making a list is a good way to see a problem clearly.

A friend told me that I should make a list of all the things I am looking for in a job. I can't remember now what she said I should do with this list -- I have trouble with multi-step processes. Making the list was edifying, but also depressing, because I see now why it's so hard to get a job:

1. Part-time (20-30 hours/week, so I have time and energy for the other things I do)
2. Flexible hours (because things come up that I need to be available for)
3. Time off when I need it (for instance, 2 weeks off in October if my show gets into the musical theater festival in New York we applied for)
4. No dress code (because I don't want to buy a bunch of stupid clothes, and because it's hot as hell half the year)
5. Right livelihood (I won't work for anyone whose products or business practices are harmful -- there's a lot of leeway here, but there are certain things I won't be a part of)
6. Preferably something in the arts or non-profit or queer realm, because the people are more interesting.
7. I have to make enough to live on. I have a simple life, low living expenses, but I have student loans and credit card debts. So, for instance, I could work at a book store or coffee shop full-time and still not make enough to meet my expenses (which is a sign of how fucked up the world is, but that's what I've got to work with).

1, 2, 3, and 5 (and 7?) are pretty much non-negotiable. I fret about 2 and 3, because I know nobody is going to hire me if I say that I might need to take time off here and there for my work. People tell me, "Just don't tell them that. Work it out when it comes up." It's not that I'm so morally pure, but that kind of deceit is just ... stressful for me. It's a headache.

My friend's advice was basically that it's easier to find a job if you know exactly what you want. What I want is not to have to find a job. What I want is to get on with my life. A job is an obstacle, a distraction, a pain in the ass.